OPERATION UNFATHOMABLE

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Atop the Tallest Peak



d12
1. Peak sheared off, set aside, columns inserted, peak replaced creating roofed space, ruined city within, Samson-like fellow among weird occupants, if so moved could single-handedly bring the whole thing down
2. Lair of the Lethal Guru, first attained peace, then total enlightenment, followed swiftly by cosmic psychopathy, welcomes pilgrims, murders them one-by-one like slasher movie killer
3. Heap of massive stone platonic solids in roughly conical arrangement, gaps infested with giant bacteria, fed upon by bat-winged aero-trolls, great danger, no treasure
4. Colossal stone easy chair, stack of unfinished scriptures (incomprehensible god-jottings, doodles, diagrams), tree trunk-size Stylus of Revelation retains powerful enchantments
5. Nesting site of giant mountain vulture flock, great communal nests woven from thorny brush protrude from all sides, dishonored remains of famous adventurers await proper burial within, to approach peak one must first pass through the toxic vulture shit zone
6. Playground of the Ice Children: delighted laughter audible on approach, fun comes to instant halt upon arrival of intruders, upon closer examination the swing set is made of frozen people!
7. The Ancient Ones replaced summit with monumental rotating gun turret w/single barrel, fires ray of enlightenment, single charge remaining, range limited only by the curvature of the earth, worshipped by gun cultists who must undertake pilgrimage to bask in its awesomeness
8. Titanic stone tyrannosaurus head symbolizes monotheistic deity once universally venerated, interminable peace and harmony ended by judicious detonation of neutron bomb by early mammal terrorists, mummified reptile clergy still at their posts
9. The Forbidden Library: operated by wizard cult, near-complete collection including prehistoric stone texts,send forth invisible servants to acquire newly published works/to reclaim overdue materials, borrowing privileges granted following completion of pain-in-the-ass quest
10. Peak honeycombed with thousands of Tombs of Horrors, final destination for wizards and liches of the highest station for most of known history, permanent encampment of building contractors forever installing or refurbishing, random funeral parties
11. Vast vault now occupied by giant cuttlefish made of magical silver in a pool filled with its own digestive fluids, must absorb nutrition transdermally, only uses human-like mouth to dispense semi-reliable prophesies with which to lure visitors poolside
12. Extinct caldera carved into stadium wherein paleogean giants held their Olympic-style games, secret hoard of giant-size platinum, gold, electrum, silver, and copper medals rumored stashed somewhere inside, roar of phantasmal crowd audible for miles around, ever-present danger of giant ghost jocks

1 comment:

  1. Holy shit, this might be my favourite one yet... Well done, sir, well done.

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